Presumptions of the less inclined...

So a group of my colleagues and I had a rather interesting discussion.

Picture this. You are at a get-together with a friend at a bar or pub. He or she is a decent friend, not close enough that you share the same buddies on any online network, but not quite a random acquaintance. Suddenly the conversation turns towards the discussion of an inside joke, locking you out of the circle. Bored and a little desperate, you turn towards the bar, where the drinks are being served in an almost mechanical-like pace. You turn to your right, and a girl (or guy) is at the corner, busy nursing a drink. She spots you and before you know it, you're thrown into the fray and servings of a conversation. You enjoy the new-found company, when you ask that question.

"So, how old are you?"

The answer shocks you. Murmur of a number reaches your ears, and suddenly, for a brief moment, you feel the creep of your own mortality, which washes over you like a damp wind from a marsh. You discover that you are older than the person you thought you had a connection with. Suddenly, all thoughts of continuing this conversation and seeing where it leads, ends, and you decide to retreat back to your friend's table, where he continues to regale his company with an exaggerated tale that half the group, if not more, were all characters in.

How often is it that when you discover someone's age, that your opinion of them changes and all the notions regarding someone that age suddenly come into play into dictating your next moves? I often admit that this is the case with me. Anyone younger than me is instantly an immature and naive about the world (even with my misgivings regarding the true workings of the world) and anyone older than me is too far removed from what I could possibly be interested in, and therefore not an ideal subject to converse with. I often ignore the fact that we were sharing a connection with the thought that "it would never work because she's X years younger/older than me". It's a terrible thing to do, but most of us admitted to having been in such a situation, and having done the same thing outlined above. Which is a shame. Personally, some of my younger friends are far more mature, beyond their years, and some of my older friends are not quite there. Suddenly age isn't quite a number, but it becomes the ultimate deciding factor on whether friendships/relationships should begin or not begin at all.

True, we gravitate towards people our own age, and the likelihood of any meaningful relationship, whether friendship or otherwise is greater with those your own age. After all, you've been on this big ball of mud for roughly the same time, having the same time-scale opportunity to taste what life has to offer. No surprises there.

What is a little surprising is the way sociological pressure has taken its toll. Those who are on the younger part of the spectrum, happen to compensate by physically extolling those features which would associate with someone in the mid-range age (20s). They make themselves up and prepare for an outing as diligently as a medical student prepares for a practical. They practice stories to tell, conversation topics and even exaggerated biographies of themselves to put the facade of maturity. Though I admit, this is an unfair generalization. My experiences as a student leader a while back somewhat gave me the impression, that our youth is growing up faster than we think. As a kid, I remember the age at which we began talking about sex was 14-15. In a few short years, it's down to 12-13.

Personally, I've decided to take a stance of working to go with personality first, age third. While I'll still follow the Fenton Rule down to the decimal (minimum age you can date = your age/2 + 7), I think what's running through the girl's mind has more relevance than a number.