About time...

So I finally got this xkcd...after about a year and a bit since it was written:

http://xkcd.com/532/

Say it out loud and it makes sense.

Munroe, you're a genius.

A 'Regular' Relationship

At a certain point in our lives, once the novelty of working/living on your own has worn off, we try to establish ourselves in the local environment and obtain some form of concrete status to show this. It is the status that many of us in today's work-a-day world strive for. It is the status of being a "Regular" at a local establishment. A "Regular" experiences some of the benefits that other, less-commonly encountered patrons cannot hope to experience. For example, being able to point at your "Regular" bartender in a pose not-much-unlike the Buddy Jesus pose and have a beer in your hand in less than 20 seconds, or being able to get LIIT* without the judgmental or disapproving looks from the other bar patrons. Or the moral authority and gravitas to push people out of our usual seats, often with the blessing of the waiters and bartender and with our promise to tip them well. There are even times where the "Regular" status can provide some monetary award. For example, my frequent (close to twice a week) visits to the local sushi bar in Reston VA, has won me:

• Two free pieces of Inari
  
• A guaranteed seat at the bar
  
• Free refills of Miso Soup
  
• The ability to convey my order through use of hand signals and facial expressions
  

But like any relationship, there is a certain level of commitment and emotional investment required to maintain the status of a "Regular". Failure to provide this minimal level of engagement could have some dire consequences. As you all know, our pub-quizzo-ing antics at the local watering-hole of Fado has made a few of us "Regular" patrons. However, my absence for the past few weeks had resulted in a shift in my reputation level at Fado. Just last week, I was a victim of this, and the consequences were most severe. The conversation** is transcribed below:

Mark: Well, guess who decided to show their face...
Me: Hey Mark. Yeah, I've been out of the city for a while...I meant to call but I've just been
busy.
Mark: That's what they all say...I thought you were different...
Me: *awkward silence* ...uh could I get a Guinness, please?
Mark *look of contempt*

Luckily, this awkwardness subsides quickly once a nice, well-placed tip has been offered. So I leave you with this piece of advice. Treat your "Regular" status with pride and make sure to give it the attention and affection it needs. And if that fails, just make sure you leave a decent tip.

*Long Island Ice Tea-ed- a status used to describe my level of inebriation or just a statement to convey that I am looking to get plastered and make poor decisions. The term is derived from the idea that a Long-Island Iced Tea is kryptonite to me, and multiple amounts of this particular drink results in a terrible night for me and hilarity for everyone else.

**Okay...so it didn't exactly happen like that, but there was a moment of awkwardness when he did suggest that I found a new bar and hence the reason for my absence.