Thursday Thoughts: Variations on a Thanksgiving Suite

Thanksgiving! If there is one holiday we can without doubt attribute as solely American, it's this one. You've got an entire day dedicated to eating; watching (American) football; loafing around; hanging out with friends and family for that 24 hour period before you begin to drive each other crazy; leftovers; and the next day happens to encompass all of the best things about capitalism. As I was heading back home to celebrate Thanksgiving with my own family, it dawned upon me, how many variations of Thanksgiving I've happened to be a part of and how many happen to exist. So, for your reading benefit and enjoyment, I have decided to share some of the many variations of Thanksgiving out there.

The Traditional Thanksgiving: The whole works- you have the turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, several other miscellaneous dishes and the best part- the stuffing. After a refractory period of several hours, we return to the table to finish leftovers and maintain our energy levels for the shopping marathon to occur the next day. Funnily enough, I've never experienced a traditional Thanksgiving with my own family. Instead this was always superseded by...

"My Family's" Thanksgiving: The worst part of being a global nomad is never really having any close family friends or nearby family to invite for Thanksgiving. Most of my family's thanksgivings have been very quiet affairs, usually just between me and my immediate family...maybe my cousins if they happened to be in the area. As a result, my parents never really found a need to hone their Turkey cooking and carving skills and we would always have a dish of ground turkey curry. Which is absolutely delicious...but still no stuffing. Afterwards, we would sleep early with the intention to get up for Black Friday, but almost always end up waking up at 10am, and saying "Screw it." and doing our shopping online.

Canadian Thanksgiving: It is sad to say, but I've never actually seen a Canadian Thanksgiving being celebrated ever. Through some odd mechanism or transformation, our northern cousins who decide to make the trip down to America usually abandon this tradition. So everything that follows is based on vague references, rumors and absolute heresey, so here goes: The Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated one month earlier from 'True Thanksgiving'. It is supposedly spread over 3 weeks, as the vast distances from city to city and the abundance of forests and natural habitats makes traveling an arduous task. Upon the arrival of all parties, what begins is a literal giving of thanks. Gifts are exchanged between people, usually in the form of bottles of fine maple syrup, whisky, beaver pelts and Celine Dion (or Avril Lavinge among the younger people) CDs. They give thanks to some of the greatest celebrities to come out of Canada (Jim Carrey to name one), Government run health-care and the strong showing by the Canucks this season. Then they quietly curse the U.S. for almost always capturing the Stanley Cup. After the feast and ceremonies, the parties retire to a nearby bar or home to watch curling or ice hockey or some other sport commonly found in the winter olympics.

Bonesgiving: Celebrated by the Trombone section in my college marching band, this was a ceremony which took place sometime between October and November depending on when trombone initiation/re-initiation took place. In terms of the food served, it was usually just orders of Pizza and Chinese food, donuts and some illegal alcohol consumption in an academic building. Awards would be given to the person who placed the most ridiculous order of pizza, or the person who was able to fit every single type of meat onto a slice of pizza. The whole thing was a little surreal because during my tenure in the band, the Trombone section had a ton of Family Guy and Onion afficiandos. Many random non-contextual related inside jokes would be thrown around. People's feelings would get hurt. Sometimes punches were thrown. All of this was backed by a single motto summarizing the holiday: "It is better to Bone-give than to Bone-receive".

Dicksgiving: This was the invention of a friend of mine from college (who's name happened to be Dick). It essentially translated to the traditional thanksgiving, except instead of decorations of a turkey, a cornucopia filled with fall harvests and remnants of Halloween decorations, we were assaulted with pictures of our friend Dick in varying poses, remnants of Halloween decorations, and without being too lewd, pieces of construction paper cut into the shape of something resembling a phalus. The only reason this tradition happened to last so long (3 years) was because of the excess alcohol available during the ceremony.

Lazy Half-Assed Thanksbirthday: Then there are some friends who are either too lazy/cheap to hold a Thanksgiving and a birthday party under separate occassions and instead combine the two into a single party. This is especially true if the birthday happens to be in the first week of December since this means prices for Turkey fall dramatically within that time-frame. Holding one of these was always a terrible idea because by the time dinner rolls around and you've eaten, everyone is too lethargic and full to go out and actually celebrate the person's birthday. One too many potential New York nights of hijinks has been ruined because of this phenomenon.

There you have it. A number of variations to the Thanksgiving holiday. It's definitely worthwhile to have one of your own, or try some of these out. But remember, the important thing is, it's your Thanksgiving. Make sure you're having fun with it! Wherever you are and however you're celebrating, I wish you a good one! Now if you'll excuse me...there's a plate of ground turkey curry with my name on it...

Top 10 Funniest Movies!!!

With comedies becoming a commodity (ha!) in the theater, I decided to try to come up with a list of the top 10 comedies currently around. Below I give my list of top 10 comedies, including justification for why it belongs and particularly classic moments.

10. Team America: World Police:
Meant to be a satire of America's foreign policy during the Bush era, the creators of South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) create an absolutely rib-tickling piece of cinema. As the title implies, the movie is about Team America, a group of counter-terrorists, attempting to thwart a global plot to enact a terrorist attack with the magnitude of "9/11 times 100". To this end, they acquire the services of Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor who is to infiltrate the terrorist organization with nothing but his acting skills. What makes this movie brilliant is the 'South Park' trademark: rather than trying to push a message or what could have easily warped to a politically powered film, they instead go for the lulz, attacking both sides and exaggerating their faults to great effect. Plus who can forget the soundtrack? America, Fuck Yeah indeed!

9. The Big Lebowski:
It's very hard to describe this movie without ruining people's preconceptions of the film. In fact, it's very hard to describe what this movie is about. Jeff Bridges plays Jeff Lebowski, better known as 'The Dude' who goes in search of justice after a case of mistaken identity. What follows is a comedy of farces, inanity and some of the most quotable lines in movie history. The movie has garnered such a cult following that a Lebowski Festival is now held annually in Louisville, Kentucky. Some highlights- 'The Dude' expressing his disdain for the Eagles and any scene involving Walter (John Goodman).

8. Monty Python and The Holy Grail:
Considered the first proper film from the brilliant comedy troupe, it tells a revised version of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. I'll admit having partiality to John Cleese (mostly because of Fawlty Towers- the greatest television comedy ever conceived). However, on its own merits, this movie is one of the only films which combines clever, logical wit with the more random styles commonly seen with shows like Aqua Teen and the rest of Adult Swim, and most importantly, does it successfully. Highlights- The entire movie from start to finish. Even now, I still quote lines from this gem.

7. Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
This was a tossup between the Breakfast Club and this film. While Breakfast Club certainly had a more novel scenario, it unfortunately felt more like a drama than an actual comedy, so I decided to go with this one. Broderick fulfills most high-schooler's fantasy- skipping school with two of his best friends to go enjoy a perfect day just before facing the crossroads of college. The narrative quality of the film, combined with the clever writing makes this one of my personal favorites.

6. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou:
When people think of Wes Anderson, they usually cite Rushmore as the pinnacle of his filmmaking resume. One of the requirements for this list, however, is that I had seen the film, so this movie goes on instead. Most people either love it or hate it. I fall under the former. Bill Murray is simply one of my favorite comedians involved in cinema and the dry wit of the entire film doesn't get stale.

5. Office Space:
Mike Judge is known for three things: Beavis & Butthead, King of the Hill and this unabashed comedy for the white collar everyman. Ron Livingstone is someone likable enough who we can cheer for throughout the film and the setting is recognizable for almost anyone who has ever held an internship or been involved in a team project. Not only is the movie absolutely quotable, has a wicked soundtrack (by the Geto Boys) and has the lovely Jennifer Aniston, but it makes references to Superman 3, and is probably the only comedy on this list that I can watch over and over again.

4. Clerks:
If Seinfeld is the show about nothing, then Clerks is the 90 minute expose on nothing. The plot follows two store clerks during the timeframe of a single day, discussing everything from Star Wars to Sex. Yes, a movie about two people conversing under the backdrop of dealing with changes in life is highly likely to become bland after 30 minutes, but Kevin Smith manages to keep viewer interest alive, and more importantly to the inclusion of this list, an absolute laugh riot. This brilliant gem is still something I come back to quite often, and each time, I find something new to laugh at.

3. Airplane!:
Leslie Nielsen is someone I always regard as an underrated actor in comedy. I remember watching this film and feeling that it was made for me. Full of puns, word play, this movie surely belongs on the list...and don't call me Shirley.

2. Monty Python and The Life of Brian:
When a comedy is banned in several countries, you know that there's something in there worth watching. Life of Brian follows Brian (who woulda thunk?), who was born in the same era and location as Jesus, and is constantly mistaken for the Messiah. Hilarity ensues as many of the actions normally attributed to Jesus in the gospels, were actually simple misconceptions and misinterpretations by his followers. With a number of memorable characters (Biggus Dickus, Judith come to mind), impeccable comedic timing and probably one of the greatest endings to a film ever (Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!), this was just almost number 1. Almost!

1. Shaun of the Dead:
And we have finally hit number 1 on my list: Shaun of the Dead. I'll outright admit it, and say that I love British comedies. I was already a follower of Simon Pegg well before this movie came out, being a fan of 'Spaced'. But this movie just shot him and my perspective on comedy to a whole new level. Billed as a ZomRomCom (Zombie Romantic Comedy), the movie follows Shaun as his personal, professional and love life falls apart around him. Just as he resolves to turn over a new leaf, a zombie uprising begins and armed with a cricket bat, fights back the horde in a bid to save his friends. What can I say about this movie? The dialogue is perfect, the story is brilliant and the idea novel. I can always sit down to this movie, and expect any of my friends to entertain me and do the same. My Highlights- Pegg's outline of the scenarios that could play out- each of them ending with a trip to the Winchester. Trivia: George Romero, the king of zombie movies, enjoyed this film so much that he offered cameo roles to Pegg and Wright in 'Land of the Dead'. They instead opted to play zombies in the film.

There you have it. My list of 10 greatest comedies. Now it's your turn! Add your list in the comment section, and I'll compile the results into a future entry!

Thursday Thoughts: Halloween Adventures in DC

If you've spent enough time with me, you will probably be aware of my penchant for, to put it bluntly, "social experimentation". I enjoy pushing the envelope of social grace and behavior, usually at the expense of my dignity/psyche/physical well being. Some of my exploits in this field have involved the falling down/picking up* scenario, the douchebag in the elevator scenario** and the "Debbie Downer"(tm) does Dallas*** scenario. While my reasoning for getting into most of these situations has been mostly for my amusement, I've always been interested in the reactions of my marks in each scenario. I will admit that in almost all of the cases, I don't take a written account of the havoc/happiness my actions tend to bring. Today's thoughts however, represent my first foray into recording the events leading up to and entailing my most recent social experiment: "Operation All Hallows Eve's Eve".

As you're probably aware (based on my previous weeks' thoughts), I am currently staffed on a project in the Reston area (about 30 miles west of DC). Last week also happened to be the weekend that Halloween fell under. Upon the (strong) insistence of my supervisor, I decided to stay that Friday for the Halloween Office Potluck which had been hyped since the beginning of October. This meant taking the pieces of my costume and packing them along with my usual incidentals for the week. As for the party itself, it was relatively uneventful. Donned in my Mola Ram outfit (with the facepaint and all), I got numerous stares, compliments, and even smiles from the passerbys in the office corridors. I'll admit it. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Sorta like how Jay-Z feels when he walks through New York I imagine. Any more of a boost to my confidence and I would've been sprouting lyrics and beatboxing to passerbys.

However, like many other insubstantial theories that we know lack validation yet we still dogmatically adhere to their tenets, the karmic scope of the universe tends to balance these things out. Before long, I realized that I didn't have the time to change out of my costume if I was going to arrive in time for my train. Biting the bullet, I decided to live by the six words, which have yet to steer me in the wrong direction...

"F*ck it! We'll do it live!"

Now whoever complains about Philly/Delaware traffic has not seen the systematic chaos that is inner city Washington DC. Traveling 2 blocks took no less than 10 minutes, no small thanks to the drawn-out reds on the traffic lights. Eventually, time was getting short, and my patience growing thin, I decided to walk the remaining 3 or so blocks to the train station. Imagine this: you're a tourist in our country's capital enjoying the sight of the Capitol building in the background, and from the peripheral sight of your right eye, you see...Mola Ram pulling a suitcase, with a backpack on him. Getting to the train station, I only had two things on my mind. Coffee and getting to my gate. Unfortunately, donning a costume on the day before halloween doesn't exactly help one maintain inconspicuousity. To summarize, here's the list of reactions I get from the mildly amusing to the outright awesome.

A young couple leaving DC from a Immunobiology conference chatted with me in the line about the process in designing the costume and coming up with the idea for it.

In the line to Starbucks, the barista had a little chuckle to herself and thanked me for making her day a little more interesting with the costume.

A group wanted a photo opportunity with me. I ended up with two photos- one of me with the group of people (I think college students), the other one of me re-enacting the Mola Ram heart pulling scene with one of the group members.

An interesting discussion with an elderly woman about movies from the 80s and how marketing for movies has transformed since then.

Lots of other people complimenting me on my appearance

Getting to the gate, I took a set of seats which were empty around me. Noticeably, people were reluctant to sit next to me...though in my mind I try to justify that by thinking people just didn't want to accidentally step or sit on my robe if they sat next to me.Interestingly on the train itself, there was little to no mention of the way I was dressed. Except for the little baby I made smile and the other baby who started crying upon my approach. All in all, I can say that the operation was a success. I amused a lot of people, I wasn't arrested for attempted murder via impromptu heart surgery and I wasn't attacked by any anti-cultist, fake archaeologists. My only gripe is the photo opportunity that I foolishly took. Somewhere out there on the interwebs is a picture of me in a crazy outfit looking like I'm trying to fondle a male college student. So I leave you with this:


As usual- when in doubt: Doing it live always works

The 80s are still alive

Context in a photograph is an important thing to keep in mind

It's worth it to go out of your way to push the envelope a bit and get out of your comfort space
and get others to do so as well. Not only is it fun but you just might make other people happier.


*This involves going to a mall or any public place, and slipping on the floor on purpose. Act like you're having trouble getting up and gauge how many people actually try to help you up. The picking up scenario is where you drop a contact lens and pretend to look around on the floor for it. Gauge how many people try to help you in this situation. More often, people will help look for the contact lens rather than helping you directly from your fall since there's a reward associated with finding the contact lens (the pride in being the first to find the lens).

**Enter a crowded elevator and press all the buttons and close the door before people can leave the elevator. Gauge the responses from that. (Note: It helps if you have one or two plants of your own in the elevator just in case things start getting violent.)

***With a group of people you just recently met, interrupt each part of the conversation with a glib remark or pessimistic statement about the affairs of the world. When discussing anything related to the conversation, always be the first to point out the flaws or cons of whatever the subject is. After several days, ask your friend to bring up to the group what they thought of your personality and that you would be joining them for lunch/dinner later that day. Have your friend gauge the reactions. Based on the SNL sketch- "Debbie Downer" (played by Rachel Dratch) . Most people tend to cringe just a little bit when they hear that you will be joining them later. However, there are a select few who actually realize that you're evoking Debbie Downer and actually laugh and enjoy the experience. Those people are awesome and worth being your friends. Conversely, there are a select few who agree with your statements. Those people are creepy and should not be associated with. The Dallas in the name of this method was because I tried this out for the first time in Dallas.

About time...

So I finally got this xkcd...after about a year and a bit since it was written:

http://xkcd.com/532/

Say it out loud and it makes sense.

Munroe, you're a genius.

A 'Regular' Relationship

At a certain point in our lives, once the novelty of working/living on your own has worn off, we try to establish ourselves in the local environment and obtain some form of concrete status to show this. It is the status that many of us in today's work-a-day world strive for. It is the status of being a "Regular" at a local establishment. A "Regular" experiences some of the benefits that other, less-commonly encountered patrons cannot hope to experience. For example, being able to point at your "Regular" bartender in a pose not-much-unlike the Buddy Jesus pose and have a beer in your hand in less than 20 seconds, or being able to get LIIT* without the judgmental or disapproving looks from the other bar patrons. Or the moral authority and gravitas to push people out of our usual seats, often with the blessing of the waiters and bartender and with our promise to tip them well. There are even times where the "Regular" status can provide some monetary award. For example, my frequent (close to twice a week) visits to the local sushi bar in Reston VA, has won me:

• Two free pieces of Inari
  
• A guaranteed seat at the bar
  
• Free refills of Miso Soup
  
• The ability to convey my order through use of hand signals and facial expressions
  

But like any relationship, there is a certain level of commitment and emotional investment required to maintain the status of a "Regular". Failure to provide this minimal level of engagement could have some dire consequences. As you all know, our pub-quizzo-ing antics at the local watering-hole of Fado has made a few of us "Regular" patrons. However, my absence for the past few weeks had resulted in a shift in my reputation level at Fado. Just last week, I was a victim of this, and the consequences were most severe. The conversation** is transcribed below:

Mark: Well, guess who decided to show their face...
Me: Hey Mark. Yeah, I've been out of the city for a while...I meant to call but I've just been
busy.
Mark: That's what they all say...I thought you were different...
Me: *awkward silence* ...uh could I get a Guinness, please?
Mark *look of contempt*

Luckily, this awkwardness subsides quickly once a nice, well-placed tip has been offered. So I leave you with this piece of advice. Treat your "Regular" status with pride and make sure to give it the attention and affection it needs. And if that fails, just make sure you leave a decent tip.

*Long Island Ice Tea-ed- a status used to describe my level of inebriation or just a statement to convey that I am looking to get plastered and make poor decisions. The term is derived from the idea that a Long-Island Iced Tea is kryptonite to me, and multiple amounts of this particular drink results in a terrible night for me and hilarity for everyone else.

**Okay...so it didn't exactly happen like that, but there was a moment of awkwardness when he did suggest that I found a new bar and hence the reason for my absence.

Intent versus Consequence

When I was positive that I wanted to go into the medical field, the idea of doing good or being a benefactor to the general state of health wasn't the first thing I had in mind. I really thought along the lines of I love learning science about the body, how it works, what affects it and I just liked talking to people- especially strangers. My inhibitions with complete strangers tend to disappear; mostly because I have the feeling that 1.) I'll never speak or see them ever again; 2.) I was really shy as a kid and I use this as an overcompensating mechanism to push that characteristic away and 3.) Even if I did see them on a regular basis, who would really care about someone you're very-mildly acquainted with. With those three factors in mind, I thought I'd be good at it and it'd be definitely be something I'd enjoy.

Growing older though has gotten me thinking about the idea of good. Hearing others' reasons for leaping into this profession sometimes makes me feel a little selfish at times. Selflessness and sacrifice to improve other people's lives is certainly different than doing something because you love it and want to be the best at it. This had me thinking about what really makes an action moralistically "good". Do we actually do something for bettering the condition of other people's lives because it's the right thing to do, or because it fulfills us? If it is with the intent of fulfilling us, then doesn't that make it an action spurred by selfishness- the want of feeling good about yourself because you did something good? Wouldn't that inherently make the action no longer good, because of its subconscious intent?

Perhaps the solution is to stop thinking from the persepctive of intent and look at it in terms of consequences. If I'm doing something I enjoy, and work hard at it to make myself the best at it, and in return, this improves things for everyone else, that would be fulfilling two moral imperatives. But looking at it purely through consequence discounts the work that millions have put throughout time and history to better the world; those people who spent their lives with the intent to make things better for society who for some reason could not succeed in their lifetimes. How can we reconcile these views?

Deciding on one or the other is probably a course in futility. Since I subscribe to the idea that from a consequence-basis, humanity is from a net-prespective, generally good (the idea that if we sum all the good and bad actions together, we'd come up slightly positive, i.e. good); I think I can rest easier keeping that in mind than to worry about intent. It may seem unfair to ignore intentions in the actions we have, but that makes me feel better and lets me see that others are better. And isn't that what it's all about in the end?

And it has begun...

Saturday, May 30th is done with. I am officially in the game now.

I am awesome!

Metal Gear Solid (Breaking the) 4(th Wall)

I completed Metal Gear Solid 4 for the first time several months ago, and recently came back to it not too long ago. My initial thoughts after completion were that of awe and dumbstrucked-ness, not so much from the plot- which seems to have found that balance between Metal Gear Solid 2's philosophical foray, with the plain espionage-thriller plotline of Snake-Eater- but from the severe tour-de-force the game sends you through. It packs references from the previous 3 games, the hand-held games and even a hidden reference to the not-so-well-known GBC Ghost Babel.

Guns of the Patriots concludes the series 5 years after the events of Metal Gear Solid 2. Snake, the protagonist's, artificial birth and genetic makeup has begun to take his toll as he has aged rapidly between the 5 years of the Big Shell Incident and the current plot, causing him to have the looks and condition of a decrepified old man. It is only the intervention of his octo-camo suit and his will pushing him through in this final mission. Throughout the game, Snake travels throughout the world in order to discover where his nemesis, Liquid Ocelot, introduced in Metal Gear Solid 2, is. Ocelot's intention is to take control of the PMCs, privately owned armies who fight for the highest bidder in a number of global proximity wars. Like the previous games however, the story approaches deeper themes, this time from the start, as the player is (in perhaps the biggest 4th wall breaking introduction I've ever seen) treated to watching an interactive television, seeing the shape of the game world all within a montage of advertisements, talk shows and game shows. It is a thinly veiled commentary on the technology surge which has further assimilated itself into human society- a theme which continues to play throughout the plot in addition to the idea of free-will, the definitions of the new globalized society and genetics and the new economics of a world where behavior and emotions are controlled through artificial means. In other words, a dystopia which hits home harder than most other stories could.

Thanks to the rapid cellular degradation Snake experiences, he is a lot more fragile in this game than the previous ones. This is easily noticable in the Laughing Octopus boss fight, where a mere two body hits from Octopus's rolling attack can down Snake in a Normal difficulty setting. Gone away is the stamina gague introduced in MGS3, replaced by the Psyche gague, which for all intents and purposes plays the same role as the stamina gauge, with the exception that the bar refills when Snake is in a non-combat state or while hiding, and increases when Snake is discovered. CQC also makes a come-back (including a very convincing conversation explaining why Snake has not been seen using CQC in his earlier roles) providing more depth in combat. In a departure from the normally stealth-based gameplay, Snake can not only collect over 50 different types of weapons, but meets a questionable character named Drebin, who exchanges any extra weapons Snake may acquire for points to purchase ammo or other weapons from his shop. Thankfully, the camoflauge system has been reworked. With the exception of a few times, Snake no longer has to go into 'Survival Viewer' mode to change his camoflauge, thanks to the real-time operations of the OctoCamo suit. Described as new state-of-the-art technology, it allows Snake to hide against a wall or floor and acquire the pattern of the surface, improving his hiding capabilities. This addition certainly streamlines the game much more as we no longer have breaks in action to switch our camoflauge when we attempt a foray into a grassy area for no more than several seconds. With this, also finally comes the player's ability to skip through sections of cutscenes, allowing us to decide what we want to watch as we see fit. The other major addition is the factions loyalty system. When Snake is normally noticed by the faction troops, he might be pursued as an enemy. However, if Snake kills or defeats a number of PMCs or provides items to the faction soldiers, their loyalty improves. Sufficiently high loyalty allows Snake to request help from them, either by providing items or diverting enemy troops to clear a path forward. This is most noticable in Act 2, where right from the start, Snake has an opportunity to get some erst-while allies. This layer adds to the gameplay in significant ways, providing players alternatives to the run-and-gun and hide-from-sight options.

Perhaps the biggest issue with the game is it makes easier for trigger happy players to get through the game. I always imagined the mainstay of the series was the fact that it was a stealth-action game- emphasis on the stealth, mind you. Something seems a little off when you can rush through an area cutting down through an enemy fortification with an unsilenced M4 and a couple of grenades. Granted, it falls within Kojima's vision- offering the player a number of solutions to a given scenario. I don't have a significant problem with this. But it seems that the player is rewarded more for a violent solution at times, rather than relying on wits and sound stealth tactics.

As much as this minor misforgiving acts on my impressions, I still have to agree with GameSpot's assessment of the game as "Technically flawless". The graphics are top-notch as is the sound, music, and cutscenes. The plot is brilliant, though to be fair, this game won't make any new fans of the series. To hardcore gamers who have purused the Metal Gear franchise from start-to-finish, the 4th game is a combined homage to the entire game universe. With so many cross-references to the previous games, this would more than easily deter first time players, who would want to know what things are from the start. However, to the rest of us, who've followed Metal Gear either from its heyday in the 80s, or from its first 3d entrance in 1998, this is a fitting conclusion to what will be a beloved series in all video-game history. On behalf of the fans and gamers alike- thank you.

Optimism: My Weapon

I think it pays to be optimistic. Not only because of the general feeling you get by looking on the bright side of things, but logically speaking, most optimistic people are the ones who take risks and manage to succeed. It's not an issue of them being more skilled or talented (though from an argumentative standpoint, an optimistic person seems more likely to go through with an arduous task because they predict a successful outcome), but really what sets apart an optimistic person from someone more 'realistic' is the ability to pinpoint an opportunity under adverse situations or outcomes. It's a tough question to answer; whether this ability to see the silver lining arises from an inherent reason (making them optimistic) or whether it comes from the idea that they are optimistic by society's standards, thus making them push to see that beneficial side effect of an event.

Of course optimism can be seen as a tool rather than an attribute or feeling that someone carries. And like a tool, it has its uses during certain periods. For example, optimism during a crisis or terrible period is probably more detrimental to your well-being than it normally would. As Scott Adams (writer of Dilbert) outlined- your boss is more likely to fire the happy optimist than anyone else, since the optimist is the least likely to be a basketcase/crybaby when you decide to let them go. It depends on the context of the situation when to bring it around...it can be a weapon- helping you rally people towards your ideals, or it could be a shield- meant to defend yourself from the criticism and witticisms associated with something you inherently believe in.

To quote Penny-Arcade, I've always held the default emotion of cautious optimism. It makes sense in several ways. For one thing, it is the path of least resistance, since it fits under any context, meaning a change in environment or conditions doesn't require a drastic change in perspective, which by experience, is something difficult to achieve. Another advantage is it ensures you approach every condition with a logical approach, evaluating every opportunity that comes along. Be skeptical but be willing to believe that it is for the best, just because it may not agree with your compass.

The Goggles! They do nothing!

They were sitting on the rack; as inconspicuous as a pair of mirrored sheen lenses held together by thinly paired metal frames can possibly be. Instantly, as I gazed into my reflection staring back at me, I vaguely recalled the tale of Narrcissus. It couldn't do any harm to try them on, I thought. Donning the accessory, I found a conveniently placed mirror- just perfect for my height and witnessed the sight which would warp the notions I steadfastedly held for years- like a caged curmudgeon obstinate about the 'old days'. I felt like a Tom Cruise in his prime, without the gay innuendo, or the scattered-brain theories of a Scientologist disciple. Wearing the glasses made me feel like a hero, like someone with nary a thought about what could go wrong, but only what could go right. If confidence and kickasseery came in the form of an accessory, this instrument was the prototype- nay- the paradigm, from which all of it was wrought. With the stride of a man who had seen all and conquered all, with the walk of a man who knew the walk and did the talk, I made my way to the register, prize still equipped. Little did I realize, what monster I had unleashed within my psyche. And oh how the world will pay for it. Oh will it pay for it...


In case things weren't clear. I succumbed and bought a pair of aviators. And man do I rock it!

Manufactured Conflict

So the 'thrilling' feud between "Daily Show" host, Jon Stewart and "Mad Money's" Jim Cramer has come to an end. Both TV Celebrities shook hands and forged an agreement to return to their respective programming goals. For Cramer, that is asking tougher questions and more investigative tactics with regards to reporting and for Stewart: "making funny faces and fart noises".
Regardless of who you supported, plenty of interesting points were made. The question to what extent CNBC are responsible for their role in ensuring corporate governance and the audience to which it caters was the biggest area of inquiry. Stewart's biggest qualm was the fact that CNBC's overall reporting seemed to cater to different areas and the fact that they are unable to concile these views into a more thorough reporting style. CNBC (and Cramer) shot back that what would a comedian who presents a 'news' show on Comedy Central have with regards to true reporting and that he is guilty of the same thing, presenting serious issues with a flippant view.
What much of the media outlet did not present was that the 'feud' was strictly manufactured. Stewart never personally attacked Jim Cramer in his initial report about CNBC. He was attacking the network in general for what he saw was indirect manipulation of the market by ameliorating fears and hiding misgivings with a number of the big banks and corportations. Cramer happened to respond to Stewart's report as a means to defend himself from an attack that wasn't singly aimed at him. The response internalized the conflict to Cramer and Stewart, and CNBC simply gave Cramer a pat on the back and sent him as a 'scapegoat' of sorts to divert Daily Show's fire.
Of course once this happened, the remainder of the media outlet jumped on it and added fuel to the fire by emphasizing the Cramer vs. Stewart angle, as opposed to the original intention...Stewart vs. CNBC. It makes sense in a lot of ways. Internalizing the conflict means that we are directed away from the real issue- whether today's media outlets aren't asking hard enough questions or whether corporate interests overlay clear, insightful reporting. If the conflict remained situated to its original case of inquiry, I think we would see much more investigation about the level of 'collaboration' we see between reporting media and the subjects at hand. Despite the tone of this post, I think even if we didn't hit the mark with respect to asking and answering the right questions, it is a step in the right direction.

Nostalgia without the guilt

Tonight I decided to visit my campus, specifically a frat party, but not as a geezer, shamelessly trying to "hook-up" with those younger with me, but as an observer, of what it feels like to be the insider of a frat-house.

I came to the realization that a fraternity was much more than a monopoly on the college pussy and a bastion of power over the non-initiated and the individualized masses who yearned for an environment to drink and have fun on the expense of others. It truly was a brotherhood of people who supported one another, and ensured the maximum possible enjoyment and utility for all the members and partakers involved. As much as I opposed being chained to a single organization for enjoyment and experience of the college environment, I found myself a little jealous of the intimacy and general camaraderie enjoyed by the members of the frat. I think if I could experience college all over again, I would make an attempt to join a frat, despite the stereotypes and general connotation associated with the fraternity environment. It was something that couldn't be explained through a logical argument or through monetary concerns. The bond between members was more than the general association experienced between workmates or even friends in a collegiate environment. It was the fact that they had the same set of Greek letters which described their affiliation and the intimacy (in a non-sexual way as far as I can tell...) they shared. There truly was something indescribable from my limited vocabulary or my inept choice of words.

My role was strictly as an observer; of the experience I oversaw as a member of Penn's undergraduate student body. As much as I share an appreciation for a group that supported me both in academic and non-academic pursuits, I was always independent, relying on my own skills and a fair amount of luck to pull me through any endeavor I faced. This is how I came to the realizations above. I did my best (and succeeded) in observing the side of college I never faced...the role of a fraternity insider, one of the "bros" -if you will. Despite all the negative connotations associated with the average fraternity brother, there is a degree of moral standard that they follow, and while it is not in correspondence to the moral standard that society as a whole follows, from an outsider's perspective, it can be ordained as "good", at least for the members of the respective fraternity as a whole.

This is the impression I was left with. All in all, it was an experience in a good context. Eventually I would have to come to accept that college was over. The carefree attitude associated with the college experience had to come to an end, and the realization that I had to decide what to do with my life was to come. And the experiences and observations I made this weekend only emphasized this. I am no longer the undergrad. It is the opportunity for me to make my mark and make the world truly a better place.

Wanna get Phelpsed?

(Thanks to Brian Quimby for this awesome title...buy one of shirts btw: http://www.getphelpsed.com)

In a seedy locale in South Carolina, which could be only be construed as a college dorm room, a group of friends huddle in a circle. Thick wisps of smoke surround the gathering as they pass around a tubular apparatus from hand to hand. The energy in the room is faint but there, a sort of mellow flow which passes through each of the subjects, in their current escapades. Suddenly, one of them calls out at another. "Yo, Phelps! Wanna hit of this shit?" The student holds the instrument towards the ceiling with the air of a Grammy-award winner, or an individual who won 8 gold medals in an Olympic-type competition. The young man looks towards the summoner. Realizing he is among friends, all hesitancy dissipates and the man partakes in the bounty provided by his brothers. With deft hands, he extracts the tool from his compatriot and readies himself for the glorious feeling of the responsibility held by an Olympic Champion and representative of the USA being thrown off his shoulders, for at least a few hours.

So Phelps took a hit. Big deal. It's not like the guy decided to drive around right after getting high. And it's not like what he smokes in that bong can be construed as a 'Performance-Enhancing Drug (hmmm...note to self, examine athletic enhancing abilities of marijuana). The guy just took what is a not-very harmful drug in a private locale among the company of friends. Instead of attacking him for this infarction, we might as well go after the celebrities and athletes who are sponsored by or advocate the use of alcohol, cigarettes, painkillers and penis-enlarging medication. They're role models and representatives of this country to the world too.

At least he's not doing crack or heroin or murdering strippers.

Review of Dead Space

I just finished Dead Space a few days ago. The delay in a review culminates as a result of a chance to reflect upon the game (and the fact I've been addicted to Metal Gear Solid 4).



But before I begin the review it's important to know that I'm a big fan of survival horror games. Not so much for the reason that they are scary and I like a good fright. Or for the resource management requirements to complete the game. It's mainly because they're generally hard games, especially if you play on the normal difficulty.

The story begins with your character, Isaac Clarke (in a thinly veiled homage to sci-fi writers Isaac Asimov and Arthur C. Clarke), a system engineer who happens to be placed on a mission to determine why a planet-cracker star-ship has not been transmitting any communications. Add this to the fact that Isaac's ex-girlfriend is on the ship and the emergency transmission she sends directly addressing Isaac by name and you're good to go on this mission. Once you arrive- things generally go down hill from there, as you face off against an alien organism which reproduces by infecting the bodies of the dead. Suddenly you're separated from the rest of your crewmates in a giant self-sufficient ship with nothing more than a plasma cutter and your rig (a suit protecting you from vacuum and other lethal environments). Horror fans should generally recognize this. To set this apart from other horror-genre games, Dead Space does what System-Shock 2 (possibly the greatest game ever) and Bioshock (the System-Shock 2 ripoff) did. You get a handle on the rest of the story through a number of audio, video and text logs you find strewn about the ship from the former crew members. With that you are able to piece the story together of what went wrong and how you might get out of this alive.

Gameplay wise, think Resident Evil 4. Isaac is controlled through an over-the-shoulder camera view. Button configuration is designed similar to RE4 as well, with one button bringing his weapon up and other button to run. Thankfully, Isaac is able to side-step, strafe-run and actually continue to move while aiming his weapon which makes battles a much more fluid affair, which is an advantage that you'll need. The Necromorphs (as the enemy in this game are called) aren't like the standard zombie-fare- these creatures dash towards you, employ hit-and-run tactics and are intelligent about evading your attacks. While most of the enemy fights are scripted, they are positioned in such a way that there are several ways of fighting back, whether by brute force, using the environment, or under extraenuous circumstances...running away. The weapon choices while meant to be creative and 'futuristic' still adhere to the standard FPS fare. One weapon is a pistol-like weapon (Plasma-Cutter), one is a rapid fire (Pulse Rifle), one is a shotgun like (Force Gun), etc.

What saves the game from the standard survival-horror spiel, however are three things. The story, the sound and the enemies. The story while taking advantage of techniques pioneered in SS2, is paced in such a way that the player is genuinely interested in continuing to play. Each chapter you play through brings you closer to understanding the Necromorph hive-mind and creates a disconcerting view of the characters you being with, slowly making the game less about an alien horror and more of a psychological horror. This is, in turn, helped by masterful audio. In some places, it matches a horror movie, with a string quartets playing a high stacatto when Isaac opens a door to witness a grisly scene. And speaking of grisly scenes, this is probably the goriest game ever made. In addition to the blood on the walls, writing on the walls in blood, and the obligatory buckets of blood, there's a lot of limp-lopping going on (enemy deaths and even Isaac's death brings about sometimes ridiculous results with regards to the strength and durability of his body- since when did a door shutting on you result in your entire body exploding?). Which brings me to the third point- the Necromorphs are constructed with the remains of their human host with a number of sharp blades and point appendages sprouting out from their shoulders, backs and whatever else. A surprising revelation early on is that head-shots no longer work. Instead, Dead Space awards you by lopping off the limbs of your foes and punishes you for adheering to the head-shot mentality found in most other games. Removing a limb reduces the enemy's health as well as reduces their means of attack to simple bites, whereas removing the head just makes them more aggressive and wastes ammo. It is a mistake most first-time players will make but the game is paced well enough to give you the time to appreciate this discovery.

A decent one-sentence way to describe this game would be to think Resident Evil meets Event Horizon (a movie with very similar premises featuring Sam Neill and Laurence Fishburne). But regardless of whether you're a fan of either of those two, Dead Space still stands well on its own two (or more) legs.

Direction...

It's been a while since I wrote in this piece.

So I'm going to brief with this one. From now on, expect entries on random thoughts, blurbs, shit that yanks my chain, music and video games. Because I'm a gamer at heart. Oh and webcomics because that's my new favorite hobby.

And in other news...I've completed another composition. At least I've written the instrumentation right now. I still have to record the drum parts and write some lyrics for the thing.

And I need a new personal statement.