"Faking" me or How I've Come to Appreciate My Two Years as a Consultant

It might've been a long while ago, but I was once asked whether I've felt like my actions and achievements were dictated by someone else. Not directly, but whether I dressed, talked, laughed, etc. to project a certain image. In a sense, was I "faking" my way through life? And by life, this person meant a relationship. I scoffed at the idea and told him that while it might have felt that way (speaking from my own experience), much of it comes from you, and many times you end up adopting the mannerisms, thought processes and (in a stronger extent) the tastes of the person you've bonded with. And after sometime, it becomes a blur what facets of your personality belong to "you" and what belongs to the other person, only to be borrowed by you. I call that concept, social adaptation.

One of the particular benefits I gained from social adaptation, doesn't come from any particular personality trait that I "acquired" but the self-awareness of the concept also brings about an appreciation of measuring your actions and words. Interestingly, my experiences as a consultant, specifically client dealing and talking with my seniors during the many social events we had, gave me a greater appreciation of this idea. The idea of carefully choosing your words, adapting some of the traits of your coworkers and superiors, and sometimes spining your intentions to project a specific image of yourself, came to be more and more helpful as time passed. It's a little sad to say, but I think I've become a little too good at it. All in all, it sounds dirty, but I've become good at "telling people what they want to hear".

And these days I find myself struggling with that trait I've acquired. No doubt it's been helpful in placating people and perhaps in making friends, but it gets to a whole new level when you start to believe in the things you say. After all, a lie becomes a truth after everyone, including yourself, believes it. So a caution to you, my dear readers. It's fine to measure your words and analyze your repsonse, but be wary that you're telling people what you truly think (at least most of the time)but not what they want to hear!