God of Button-Mashing Action

**Note: As in all my reviews, there will be some minor spoilers. Nothing game-breaking but the warning still applies.**

Most good sequels to games work by a standard formula: Keep the fundamentals the same; streamline some of the functionality of the original; hide or get rid of the bad bits and most importantly- make sure the feeling and vibe the player got from the original is intrinsically there. It comes to no surprise then that God of War 3 pretty much plays the same as the previous 2 titles.

To the uninitiated, the God of War series is an button-mashing action game series with some minor platformer elements. You play as Kratos, a promising Spartan Army captain who starts as a man, becomes a god, loses his godhood, goes to hell 3 times, manages to fight his way out of hell 3 times, and commits some of the most gruesome acts of violence, brutality and evisceration ever portrayed on a tv-screen. In terms of personality- Kratos would fit into the anti-hero architype. His actions are seen as cruel and sometimes evil, but he maintains his own code of honor and only attacks/kills those who stand in his way (and even then, gives them fair warning to acquisces to his demands).

The plot of the series is that of revenge and the overall purpose of the series' stories are to provide an explanation as to why the Greek Pantheon vanished. Herein lies the problem I had with this game. The overall structure of the story was literally the same as the previous 2 games. The first level demonstrates all of Kratos's abilities at their optimum- as a means to acclimate the player to the controls of the game. After this, something happens as part of the story line which reduces Kratos's abilities and the remainder of the game is spent regaining those powers. Insert a couple chapters of Kratos overcoming adversity, random puzzles, a few epic fights against popular figures in Greek mythology, their subsequent brutal and interactive demise and a final fight against the antagonist(s) and you have the God of War story formula. While the story seems all too familiar, I can certainly say that the execution of the plot was masterful. I don't know of many other games where the second level is set in Hell, and the boss fight is against Hades- God of the Underworld. To reiterate- the second level boss is Hades. You kill the God of the Underworld and Death in the second level. That, my friends, is deep.

The real reason to play this game, is the gameplay though. True, the mechanics from the previous games remain unchanged. You still have the blades of , with the same combination attacks. Kratos uses magic, gains the use of several other weapons, the player ignores the new weapons since the blades happen to be the best weapon in the game (one exception is the new Nemean Cestus, a pair of heavy gauntlets shaped like lion heads). Combat is still a mix of button mashing, where combos can be performed by inputting button sequences alternating between light and heavy attacks. The QTE (Quick Time Event: where the player has to input button commands during a cinematic event- failure results in taking damage and having to restart the sequence or instant death) remains popular, and appears more often than before. One issue I had with this was a single boss fight in GOW3 is entirely made of QTEs. Granted, it was absolutely gorgeous and epic to witness, but playing through that part made me feel a little dissociated from the action. Thankfully, the makers decided to streamline item usage. Instead of items relying on your magic meter from the previous games, which led to some very dire consequences if you happened to run out of magic power in the middle of a boss fight, a new item meter has been introduced which regenerates. Overall, I was happy with the experience, and other than a few moments where I was frustrated with the platform jumping, I was able to play through the game without having to stop due to any sort of inherent flaws in the gameplay. Suffice to say, if you die a lot in this game- it's pretty much your fault.

Graphically, the makers clearly pushed the PS3 to their limits. The beginning cinema shows a very '300'-style motif, giving the backdrop of the current story (Kratos has united with the Titans to attack Mt. Olympus and take down Zeus and the rest of the Pantheon). In combat is where the graphics really seem to shine. Every gruesome detail is present. Finishing off a Centaur results in a rather gory scene where Kratos's blades tear into the hindquarters of the creature, letting out a stream of entrails and other viscera. And so it becomes prudent to issue a warning. This game is NOT for the faint of heart or squeamish. There is a lot of gore depicted in excruciating detail. The music is top-notch, perfectly providing the proper motifs for each of the areas and scenes. Particular highlights are the rearranged version of the God of War 2 theme (The End Begins) and Kratos's new theme, which is reminiscent of John William's Jaws theme (as in when you hear it, you know some bad shit is about to go down).

In closing, this game isn't going to make new fans of the series. Other than the story, the game does an excellent job of fixing those very minor quibbles I've had with the previous games in the series, without sacrificing anything in other areas. Replayability is a minor issue, as well as length (I finished the game on Normal in about 9 hours), but I can see myself jumping back to the game maybe after a couple of months- if only to watch the ridiculously graphic finishers. Definitely worth a purchase for any fan of action games- and not just to complete the collection.

An Analysis of Law & Order SVU

After finally watching every single episode of Law & Order SVU (thanks to lonely evenings, access to Netflix, and the entirety of Law & Order SVU available for streaming), I've come up with this simple academic process flow outlining how an episode progresses. Enjoy!

Thursday Thoughts: Variations on a Thanksgiving Suite

Thanksgiving! If there is one holiday we can without doubt attribute as solely American, it's this one. You've got an entire day dedicated to eating; watching (American) football; loafing around; hanging out with friends and family for that 24 hour period before you begin to drive each other crazy; leftovers; and the next day happens to encompass all of the best things about capitalism. As I was heading back home to celebrate Thanksgiving with my own family, it dawned upon me, how many variations of Thanksgiving I've happened to be a part of and how many happen to exist. So, for your reading benefit and enjoyment, I have decided to share some of the many variations of Thanksgiving out there.

The Traditional Thanksgiving: The whole works- you have the turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, several other miscellaneous dishes and the best part- the stuffing. After a refractory period of several hours, we return to the table to finish leftovers and maintain our energy levels for the shopping marathon to occur the next day. Funnily enough, I've never experienced a traditional Thanksgiving with my own family. Instead this was always superseded by...

"My Family's" Thanksgiving: The worst part of being a global nomad is never really having any close family friends or nearby family to invite for Thanksgiving. Most of my family's thanksgivings have been very quiet affairs, usually just between me and my immediate family...maybe my cousins if they happened to be in the area. As a result, my parents never really found a need to hone their Turkey cooking and carving skills and we would always have a dish of ground turkey curry. Which is absolutely delicious...but still no stuffing. Afterwards, we would sleep early with the intention to get up for Black Friday, but almost always end up waking up at 10am, and saying "Screw it." and doing our shopping online.

Canadian Thanksgiving: It is sad to say, but I've never actually seen a Canadian Thanksgiving being celebrated ever. Through some odd mechanism or transformation, our northern cousins who decide to make the trip down to America usually abandon this tradition. So everything that follows is based on vague references, rumors and absolute heresey, so here goes: The Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated one month earlier from 'True Thanksgiving'. It is supposedly spread over 3 weeks, as the vast distances from city to city and the abundance of forests and natural habitats makes traveling an arduous task. Upon the arrival of all parties, what begins is a literal giving of thanks. Gifts are exchanged between people, usually in the form of bottles of fine maple syrup, whisky, beaver pelts and Celine Dion (or Avril Lavinge among the younger people) CDs. They give thanks to some of the greatest celebrities to come out of Canada (Jim Carrey to name one), Government run health-care and the strong showing by the Canucks this season. Then they quietly curse the U.S. for almost always capturing the Stanley Cup. After the feast and ceremonies, the parties retire to a nearby bar or home to watch curling or ice hockey or some other sport commonly found in the winter olympics.

Bonesgiving: Celebrated by the Trombone section in my college marching band, this was a ceremony which took place sometime between October and November depending on when trombone initiation/re-initiation took place. In terms of the food served, it was usually just orders of Pizza and Chinese food, donuts and some illegal alcohol consumption in an academic building. Awards would be given to the person who placed the most ridiculous order of pizza, or the person who was able to fit every single type of meat onto a slice of pizza. The whole thing was a little surreal because during my tenure in the band, the Trombone section had a ton of Family Guy and Onion afficiandos. Many random non-contextual related inside jokes would be thrown around. People's feelings would get hurt. Sometimes punches were thrown. All of this was backed by a single motto summarizing the holiday: "It is better to Bone-give than to Bone-receive".

Dicksgiving: This was the invention of a friend of mine from college (who's name happened to be Dick). It essentially translated to the traditional thanksgiving, except instead of decorations of a turkey, a cornucopia filled with fall harvests and remnants of Halloween decorations, we were assaulted with pictures of our friend Dick in varying poses, remnants of Halloween decorations, and without being too lewd, pieces of construction paper cut into the shape of something resembling a phalus. The only reason this tradition happened to last so long (3 years) was because of the excess alcohol available during the ceremony.

Lazy Half-Assed Thanksbirthday: Then there are some friends who are either too lazy/cheap to hold a Thanksgiving and a birthday party under separate occassions and instead combine the two into a single party. This is especially true if the birthday happens to be in the first week of December since this means prices for Turkey fall dramatically within that time-frame. Holding one of these was always a terrible idea because by the time dinner rolls around and you've eaten, everyone is too lethargic and full to go out and actually celebrate the person's birthday. One too many potential New York nights of hijinks has been ruined because of this phenomenon.

There you have it. A number of variations to the Thanksgiving holiday. It's definitely worthwhile to have one of your own, or try some of these out. But remember, the important thing is, it's your Thanksgiving. Make sure you're having fun with it! Wherever you are and however you're celebrating, I wish you a good one! Now if you'll excuse me...there's a plate of ground turkey curry with my name on it...

Top 10 Funniest Movies!!!

With comedies becoming a commodity (ha!) in the theater, I decided to try to come up with a list of the top 10 comedies currently around. Below I give my list of top 10 comedies, including justification for why it belongs and particularly classic moments.

10. Team America: World Police:
Meant to be a satire of America's foreign policy during the Bush era, the creators of South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) create an absolutely rib-tickling piece of cinema. As the title implies, the movie is about Team America, a group of counter-terrorists, attempting to thwart a global plot to enact a terrorist attack with the magnitude of "9/11 times 100". To this end, they acquire the services of Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor who is to infiltrate the terrorist organization with nothing but his acting skills. What makes this movie brilliant is the 'South Park' trademark: rather than trying to push a message or what could have easily warped to a politically powered film, they instead go for the lulz, attacking both sides and exaggerating their faults to great effect. Plus who can forget the soundtrack? America, Fuck Yeah indeed!

9. The Big Lebowski:
It's very hard to describe this movie without ruining people's preconceptions of the film. In fact, it's very hard to describe what this movie is about. Jeff Bridges plays Jeff Lebowski, better known as 'The Dude' who goes in search of justice after a case of mistaken identity. What follows is a comedy of farces, inanity and some of the most quotable lines in movie history. The movie has garnered such a cult following that a Lebowski Festival is now held annually in Louisville, Kentucky. Some highlights- 'The Dude' expressing his disdain for the Eagles and any scene involving Walter (John Goodman).

8. Monty Python and The Holy Grail:
Considered the first proper film from the brilliant comedy troupe, it tells a revised version of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. I'll admit having partiality to John Cleese (mostly because of Fawlty Towers- the greatest television comedy ever conceived). However, on its own merits, this movie is one of the only films which combines clever, logical wit with the more random styles commonly seen with shows like Aqua Teen and the rest of Adult Swim, and most importantly, does it successfully. Highlights- The entire movie from start to finish. Even now, I still quote lines from this gem.

7. Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
This was a tossup between the Breakfast Club and this film. While Breakfast Club certainly had a more novel scenario, it unfortunately felt more like a drama than an actual comedy, so I decided to go with this one. Broderick fulfills most high-schooler's fantasy- skipping school with two of his best friends to go enjoy a perfect day just before facing the crossroads of college. The narrative quality of the film, combined with the clever writing makes this one of my personal favorites.

6. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou:
When people think of Wes Anderson, they usually cite Rushmore as the pinnacle of his filmmaking resume. One of the requirements for this list, however, is that I had seen the film, so this movie goes on instead. Most people either love it or hate it. I fall under the former. Bill Murray is simply one of my favorite comedians involved in cinema and the dry wit of the entire film doesn't get stale.

5. Office Space:
Mike Judge is known for three things: Beavis & Butthead, King of the Hill and this unabashed comedy for the white collar everyman. Ron Livingstone is someone likable enough who we can cheer for throughout the film and the setting is recognizable for almost anyone who has ever held an internship or been involved in a team project. Not only is the movie absolutely quotable, has a wicked soundtrack (by the Geto Boys) and has the lovely Jennifer Aniston, but it makes references to Superman 3, and is probably the only comedy on this list that I can watch over and over again.

4. Clerks:
If Seinfeld is the show about nothing, then Clerks is the 90 minute expose on nothing. The plot follows two store clerks during the timeframe of a single day, discussing everything from Star Wars to Sex. Yes, a movie about two people conversing under the backdrop of dealing with changes in life is highly likely to become bland after 30 minutes, but Kevin Smith manages to keep viewer interest alive, and more importantly to the inclusion of this list, an absolute laugh riot. This brilliant gem is still something I come back to quite often, and each time, I find something new to laugh at.

3. Airplane!:
Leslie Nielsen is someone I always regard as an underrated actor in comedy. I remember watching this film and feeling that it was made for me. Full of puns, word play, this movie surely belongs on the list...and don't call me Shirley.

2. Monty Python and The Life of Brian:
When a comedy is banned in several countries, you know that there's something in there worth watching. Life of Brian follows Brian (who woulda thunk?), who was born in the same era and location as Jesus, and is constantly mistaken for the Messiah. Hilarity ensues as many of the actions normally attributed to Jesus in the gospels, were actually simple misconceptions and misinterpretations by his followers. With a number of memorable characters (Biggus Dickus, Judith come to mind), impeccable comedic timing and probably one of the greatest endings to a film ever (Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!), this was just almost number 1. Almost!

1. Shaun of the Dead:
And we have finally hit number 1 on my list: Shaun of the Dead. I'll outright admit it, and say that I love British comedies. I was already a follower of Simon Pegg well before this movie came out, being a fan of 'Spaced'. But this movie just shot him and my perspective on comedy to a whole new level. Billed as a ZomRomCom (Zombie Romantic Comedy), the movie follows Shaun as his personal, professional and love life falls apart around him. Just as he resolves to turn over a new leaf, a zombie uprising begins and armed with a cricket bat, fights back the horde in a bid to save his friends. What can I say about this movie? The dialogue is perfect, the story is brilliant and the idea novel. I can always sit down to this movie, and expect any of my friends to entertain me and do the same. My Highlights- Pegg's outline of the scenarios that could play out- each of them ending with a trip to the Winchester. Trivia: George Romero, the king of zombie movies, enjoyed this film so much that he offered cameo roles to Pegg and Wright in 'Land of the Dead'. They instead opted to play zombies in the film.

There you have it. My list of 10 greatest comedies. Now it's your turn! Add your list in the comment section, and I'll compile the results into a future entry!

Thursday Thoughts: Halloween Adventures in DC

If you've spent enough time with me, you will probably be aware of my penchant for, to put it bluntly, "social experimentation". I enjoy pushing the envelope of social grace and behavior, usually at the expense of my dignity/psyche/physical well being. Some of my exploits in this field have involved the falling down/picking up* scenario, the douchebag in the elevator scenario** and the "Debbie Downer"(tm) does Dallas*** scenario. While my reasoning for getting into most of these situations has been mostly for my amusement, I've always been interested in the reactions of my marks in each scenario. I will admit that in almost all of the cases, I don't take a written account of the havoc/happiness my actions tend to bring. Today's thoughts however, represent my first foray into recording the events leading up to and entailing my most recent social experiment: "Operation All Hallows Eve's Eve".

As you're probably aware (based on my previous weeks' thoughts), I am currently staffed on a project in the Reston area (about 30 miles west of DC). Last week also happened to be the weekend that Halloween fell under. Upon the (strong) insistence of my supervisor, I decided to stay that Friday for the Halloween Office Potluck which had been hyped since the beginning of October. This meant taking the pieces of my costume and packing them along with my usual incidentals for the week. As for the party itself, it was relatively uneventful. Donned in my Mola Ram outfit (with the facepaint and all), I got numerous stares, compliments, and even smiles from the passerbys in the office corridors. I'll admit it. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Sorta like how Jay-Z feels when he walks through New York I imagine. Any more of a boost to my confidence and I would've been sprouting lyrics and beatboxing to passerbys.

However, like many other insubstantial theories that we know lack validation yet we still dogmatically adhere to their tenets, the karmic scope of the universe tends to balance these things out. Before long, I realized that I didn't have the time to change out of my costume if I was going to arrive in time for my train. Biting the bullet, I decided to live by the six words, which have yet to steer me in the wrong direction...

"F*ck it! We'll do it live!"

Now whoever complains about Philly/Delaware traffic has not seen the systematic chaos that is inner city Washington DC. Traveling 2 blocks took no less than 10 minutes, no small thanks to the drawn-out reds on the traffic lights. Eventually, time was getting short, and my patience growing thin, I decided to walk the remaining 3 or so blocks to the train station. Imagine this: you're a tourist in our country's capital enjoying the sight of the Capitol building in the background, and from the peripheral sight of your right eye, you see...Mola Ram pulling a suitcase, with a backpack on him. Getting to the train station, I only had two things on my mind. Coffee and getting to my gate. Unfortunately, donning a costume on the day before halloween doesn't exactly help one maintain inconspicuousity. To summarize, here's the list of reactions I get from the mildly amusing to the outright awesome.

A young couple leaving DC from a Immunobiology conference chatted with me in the line about the process in designing the costume and coming up with the idea for it.

In the line to Starbucks, the barista had a little chuckle to herself and thanked me for making her day a little more interesting with the costume.

A group wanted a photo opportunity with me. I ended up with two photos- one of me with the group of people (I think college students), the other one of me re-enacting the Mola Ram heart pulling scene with one of the group members.

An interesting discussion with an elderly woman about movies from the 80s and how marketing for movies has transformed since then.

Lots of other people complimenting me on my appearance

Getting to the gate, I took a set of seats which were empty around me. Noticeably, people were reluctant to sit next to me...though in my mind I try to justify that by thinking people just didn't want to accidentally step or sit on my robe if they sat next to me.Interestingly on the train itself, there was little to no mention of the way I was dressed. Except for the little baby I made smile and the other baby who started crying upon my approach. All in all, I can say that the operation was a success. I amused a lot of people, I wasn't arrested for attempted murder via impromptu heart surgery and I wasn't attacked by any anti-cultist, fake archaeologists. My only gripe is the photo opportunity that I foolishly took. Somewhere out there on the interwebs is a picture of me in a crazy outfit looking like I'm trying to fondle a male college student. So I leave you with this:


As usual- when in doubt: Doing it live always works

The 80s are still alive

Context in a photograph is an important thing to keep in mind

It's worth it to go out of your way to push the envelope a bit and get out of your comfort space
and get others to do so as well. Not only is it fun but you just might make other people happier.


*This involves going to a mall or any public place, and slipping on the floor on purpose. Act like you're having trouble getting up and gauge how many people actually try to help you up. The picking up scenario is where you drop a contact lens and pretend to look around on the floor for it. Gauge how many people try to help you in this situation. More often, people will help look for the contact lens rather than helping you directly from your fall since there's a reward associated with finding the contact lens (the pride in being the first to find the lens).

**Enter a crowded elevator and press all the buttons and close the door before people can leave the elevator. Gauge the responses from that. (Note: It helps if you have one or two plants of your own in the elevator just in case things start getting violent.)

***With a group of people you just recently met, interrupt each part of the conversation with a glib remark or pessimistic statement about the affairs of the world. When discussing anything related to the conversation, always be the first to point out the flaws or cons of whatever the subject is. After several days, ask your friend to bring up to the group what they thought of your personality and that you would be joining them for lunch/dinner later that day. Have your friend gauge the reactions. Based on the SNL sketch- "Debbie Downer" (played by Rachel Dratch) . Most people tend to cringe just a little bit when they hear that you will be joining them later. However, there are a select few who actually realize that you're evoking Debbie Downer and actually laugh and enjoy the experience. Those people are awesome and worth being your friends. Conversely, there are a select few who agree with your statements. Those people are creepy and should not be associated with. The Dallas in the name of this method was because I tried this out for the first time in Dallas.

About time...

So I finally got this xkcd...after about a year and a bit since it was written:

http://xkcd.com/532/

Say it out loud and it makes sense.

Munroe, you're a genius.

A 'Regular' Relationship

At a certain point in our lives, once the novelty of working/living on your own has worn off, we try to establish ourselves in the local environment and obtain some form of concrete status to show this. It is the status that many of us in today's work-a-day world strive for. It is the status of being a "Regular" at a local establishment. A "Regular" experiences some of the benefits that other, less-commonly encountered patrons cannot hope to experience. For example, being able to point at your "Regular" bartender in a pose not-much-unlike the Buddy Jesus pose and have a beer in your hand in less than 20 seconds, or being able to get LIIT* without the judgmental or disapproving looks from the other bar patrons. Or the moral authority and gravitas to push people out of our usual seats, often with the blessing of the waiters and bartender and with our promise to tip them well. There are even times where the "Regular" status can provide some monetary award. For example, my frequent (close to twice a week) visits to the local sushi bar in Reston VA, has won me:

• Two free pieces of Inari
  
• A guaranteed seat at the bar
  
• Free refills of Miso Soup
  
• The ability to convey my order through use of hand signals and facial expressions
  

But like any relationship, there is a certain level of commitment and emotional investment required to maintain the status of a "Regular". Failure to provide this minimal level of engagement could have some dire consequences. As you all know, our pub-quizzo-ing antics at the local watering-hole of Fado has made a few of us "Regular" patrons. However, my absence for the past few weeks had resulted in a shift in my reputation level at Fado. Just last week, I was a victim of this, and the consequences were most severe. The conversation** is transcribed below:

Mark: Well, guess who decided to show their face...
Me: Hey Mark. Yeah, I've been out of the city for a while...I meant to call but I've just been
busy.
Mark: That's what they all say...I thought you were different...
Me: *awkward silence* ...uh could I get a Guinness, please?
Mark *look of contempt*

Luckily, this awkwardness subsides quickly once a nice, well-placed tip has been offered. So I leave you with this piece of advice. Treat your "Regular" status with pride and make sure to give it the attention and affection it needs. And if that fails, just make sure you leave a decent tip.

*Long Island Ice Tea-ed- a status used to describe my level of inebriation or just a statement to convey that I am looking to get plastered and make poor decisions. The term is derived from the idea that a Long-Island Iced Tea is kryptonite to me, and multiple amounts of this particular drink results in a terrible night for me and hilarity for everyone else.

**Okay...so it didn't exactly happen like that, but there was a moment of awkwardness when he did suggest that I found a new bar and hence the reason for my absence.