Thursday Thoughts: Variations on a Thanksgiving Suite

Thanksgiving! If there is one holiday we can without doubt attribute as solely American, it's this one. You've got an entire day dedicated to eating; watching (American) football; loafing around; hanging out with friends and family for that 24 hour period before you begin to drive each other crazy; leftovers; and the next day happens to encompass all of the best things about capitalism. As I was heading back home to celebrate Thanksgiving with my own family, it dawned upon me, how many variations of Thanksgiving I've happened to be a part of and how many happen to exist. So, for your reading benefit and enjoyment, I have decided to share some of the many variations of Thanksgiving out there.

The Traditional Thanksgiving: The whole works- you have the turkey, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, several other miscellaneous dishes and the best part- the stuffing. After a refractory period of several hours, we return to the table to finish leftovers and maintain our energy levels for the shopping marathon to occur the next day. Funnily enough, I've never experienced a traditional Thanksgiving with my own family. Instead this was always superseded by...

"My Family's" Thanksgiving: The worst part of being a global nomad is never really having any close family friends or nearby family to invite for Thanksgiving. Most of my family's thanksgivings have been very quiet affairs, usually just between me and my immediate family...maybe my cousins if they happened to be in the area. As a result, my parents never really found a need to hone their Turkey cooking and carving skills and we would always have a dish of ground turkey curry. Which is absolutely delicious...but still no stuffing. Afterwards, we would sleep early with the intention to get up for Black Friday, but almost always end up waking up at 10am, and saying "Screw it." and doing our shopping online.

Canadian Thanksgiving: It is sad to say, but I've never actually seen a Canadian Thanksgiving being celebrated ever. Through some odd mechanism or transformation, our northern cousins who decide to make the trip down to America usually abandon this tradition. So everything that follows is based on vague references, rumors and absolute heresey, so here goes: The Canadian Thanksgiving is celebrated one month earlier from 'True Thanksgiving'. It is supposedly spread over 3 weeks, as the vast distances from city to city and the abundance of forests and natural habitats makes traveling an arduous task. Upon the arrival of all parties, what begins is a literal giving of thanks. Gifts are exchanged between people, usually in the form of bottles of fine maple syrup, whisky, beaver pelts and Celine Dion (or Avril Lavinge among the younger people) CDs. They give thanks to some of the greatest celebrities to come out of Canada (Jim Carrey to name one), Government run health-care and the strong showing by the Canucks this season. Then they quietly curse the U.S. for almost always capturing the Stanley Cup. After the feast and ceremonies, the parties retire to a nearby bar or home to watch curling or ice hockey or some other sport commonly found in the winter olympics.

Bonesgiving: Celebrated by the Trombone section in my college marching band, this was a ceremony which took place sometime between October and November depending on when trombone initiation/re-initiation took place. In terms of the food served, it was usually just orders of Pizza and Chinese food, donuts and some illegal alcohol consumption in an academic building. Awards would be given to the person who placed the most ridiculous order of pizza, or the person who was able to fit every single type of meat onto a slice of pizza. The whole thing was a little surreal because during my tenure in the band, the Trombone section had a ton of Family Guy and Onion afficiandos. Many random non-contextual related inside jokes would be thrown around. People's feelings would get hurt. Sometimes punches were thrown. All of this was backed by a single motto summarizing the holiday: "It is better to Bone-give than to Bone-receive".

Dicksgiving: This was the invention of a friend of mine from college (who's name happened to be Dick). It essentially translated to the traditional thanksgiving, except instead of decorations of a turkey, a cornucopia filled with fall harvests and remnants of Halloween decorations, we were assaulted with pictures of our friend Dick in varying poses, remnants of Halloween decorations, and without being too lewd, pieces of construction paper cut into the shape of something resembling a phalus. The only reason this tradition happened to last so long (3 years) was because of the excess alcohol available during the ceremony.

Lazy Half-Assed Thanksbirthday: Then there are some friends who are either too lazy/cheap to hold a Thanksgiving and a birthday party under separate occassions and instead combine the two into a single party. This is especially true if the birthday happens to be in the first week of December since this means prices for Turkey fall dramatically within that time-frame. Holding one of these was always a terrible idea because by the time dinner rolls around and you've eaten, everyone is too lethargic and full to go out and actually celebrate the person's birthday. One too many potential New York nights of hijinks has been ruined because of this phenomenon.

There you have it. A number of variations to the Thanksgiving holiday. It's definitely worthwhile to have one of your own, or try some of these out. But remember, the important thing is, it's your Thanksgiving. Make sure you're having fun with it! Wherever you are and however you're celebrating, I wish you a good one! Now if you'll excuse me...there's a plate of ground turkey curry with my name on it...

Top 10 Funniest Movies!!!

With comedies becoming a commodity (ha!) in the theater, I decided to try to come up with a list of the top 10 comedies currently around. Below I give my list of top 10 comedies, including justification for why it belongs and particularly classic moments.

10. Team America: World Police:
Meant to be a satire of America's foreign policy during the Bush era, the creators of South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) create an absolutely rib-tickling piece of cinema. As the title implies, the movie is about Team America, a group of counter-terrorists, attempting to thwart a global plot to enact a terrorist attack with the magnitude of "9/11 times 100". To this end, they acquire the services of Gary Johnston, a Broadway actor who is to infiltrate the terrorist organization with nothing but his acting skills. What makes this movie brilliant is the 'South Park' trademark: rather than trying to push a message or what could have easily warped to a politically powered film, they instead go for the lulz, attacking both sides and exaggerating their faults to great effect. Plus who can forget the soundtrack? America, Fuck Yeah indeed!

9. The Big Lebowski:
It's very hard to describe this movie without ruining people's preconceptions of the film. In fact, it's very hard to describe what this movie is about. Jeff Bridges plays Jeff Lebowski, better known as 'The Dude' who goes in search of justice after a case of mistaken identity. What follows is a comedy of farces, inanity and some of the most quotable lines in movie history. The movie has garnered such a cult following that a Lebowski Festival is now held annually in Louisville, Kentucky. Some highlights- 'The Dude' expressing his disdain for the Eagles and any scene involving Walter (John Goodman).

8. Monty Python and The Holy Grail:
Considered the first proper film from the brilliant comedy troupe, it tells a revised version of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. I'll admit having partiality to John Cleese (mostly because of Fawlty Towers- the greatest television comedy ever conceived). However, on its own merits, this movie is one of the only films which combines clever, logical wit with the more random styles commonly seen with shows like Aqua Teen and the rest of Adult Swim, and most importantly, does it successfully. Highlights- The entire movie from start to finish. Even now, I still quote lines from this gem.

7. Ferris Bueller's Day Off:
This was a tossup between the Breakfast Club and this film. While Breakfast Club certainly had a more novel scenario, it unfortunately felt more like a drama than an actual comedy, so I decided to go with this one. Broderick fulfills most high-schooler's fantasy- skipping school with two of his best friends to go enjoy a perfect day just before facing the crossroads of college. The narrative quality of the film, combined with the clever writing makes this one of my personal favorites.

6. The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou:
When people think of Wes Anderson, they usually cite Rushmore as the pinnacle of his filmmaking resume. One of the requirements for this list, however, is that I had seen the film, so this movie goes on instead. Most people either love it or hate it. I fall under the former. Bill Murray is simply one of my favorite comedians involved in cinema and the dry wit of the entire film doesn't get stale.

5. Office Space:
Mike Judge is known for three things: Beavis & Butthead, King of the Hill and this unabashed comedy for the white collar everyman. Ron Livingstone is someone likable enough who we can cheer for throughout the film and the setting is recognizable for almost anyone who has ever held an internship or been involved in a team project. Not only is the movie absolutely quotable, has a wicked soundtrack (by the Geto Boys) and has the lovely Jennifer Aniston, but it makes references to Superman 3, and is probably the only comedy on this list that I can watch over and over again.

4. Clerks:
If Seinfeld is the show about nothing, then Clerks is the 90 minute expose on nothing. The plot follows two store clerks during the timeframe of a single day, discussing everything from Star Wars to Sex. Yes, a movie about two people conversing under the backdrop of dealing with changes in life is highly likely to become bland after 30 minutes, but Kevin Smith manages to keep viewer interest alive, and more importantly to the inclusion of this list, an absolute laugh riot. This brilliant gem is still something I come back to quite often, and each time, I find something new to laugh at.

3. Airplane!:
Leslie Nielsen is someone I always regard as an underrated actor in comedy. I remember watching this film and feeling that it was made for me. Full of puns, word play, this movie surely belongs on the list...and don't call me Shirley.

2. Monty Python and The Life of Brian:
When a comedy is banned in several countries, you know that there's something in there worth watching. Life of Brian follows Brian (who woulda thunk?), who was born in the same era and location as Jesus, and is constantly mistaken for the Messiah. Hilarity ensues as many of the actions normally attributed to Jesus in the gospels, were actually simple misconceptions and misinterpretations by his followers. With a number of memorable characters (Biggus Dickus, Judith come to mind), impeccable comedic timing and probably one of the greatest endings to a film ever (Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!), this was just almost number 1. Almost!

1. Shaun of the Dead:
And we have finally hit number 1 on my list: Shaun of the Dead. I'll outright admit it, and say that I love British comedies. I was already a follower of Simon Pegg well before this movie came out, being a fan of 'Spaced'. But this movie just shot him and my perspective on comedy to a whole new level. Billed as a ZomRomCom (Zombie Romantic Comedy), the movie follows Shaun as his personal, professional and love life falls apart around him. Just as he resolves to turn over a new leaf, a zombie uprising begins and armed with a cricket bat, fights back the horde in a bid to save his friends. What can I say about this movie? The dialogue is perfect, the story is brilliant and the idea novel. I can always sit down to this movie, and expect any of my friends to entertain me and do the same. My Highlights- Pegg's outline of the scenarios that could play out- each of them ending with a trip to the Winchester. Trivia: George Romero, the king of zombie movies, enjoyed this film so much that he offered cameo roles to Pegg and Wright in 'Land of the Dead'. They instead opted to play zombies in the film.

There you have it. My list of 10 greatest comedies. Now it's your turn! Add your list in the comment section, and I'll compile the results into a future entry!

Thursday Thoughts: Halloween Adventures in DC

If you've spent enough time with me, you will probably be aware of my penchant for, to put it bluntly, "social experimentation". I enjoy pushing the envelope of social grace and behavior, usually at the expense of my dignity/psyche/physical well being. Some of my exploits in this field have involved the falling down/picking up* scenario, the douchebag in the elevator scenario** and the "Debbie Downer"(tm) does Dallas*** scenario. While my reasoning for getting into most of these situations has been mostly for my amusement, I've always been interested in the reactions of my marks in each scenario. I will admit that in almost all of the cases, I don't take a written account of the havoc/happiness my actions tend to bring. Today's thoughts however, represent my first foray into recording the events leading up to and entailing my most recent social experiment: "Operation All Hallows Eve's Eve".

As you're probably aware (based on my previous weeks' thoughts), I am currently staffed on a project in the Reston area (about 30 miles west of DC). Last week also happened to be the weekend that Halloween fell under. Upon the (strong) insistence of my supervisor, I decided to stay that Friday for the Halloween Office Potluck which had been hyped since the beginning of October. This meant taking the pieces of my costume and packing them along with my usual incidentals for the week. As for the party itself, it was relatively uneventful. Donned in my Mola Ram outfit (with the facepaint and all), I got numerous stares, compliments, and even smiles from the passerbys in the office corridors. I'll admit it. I was feeling pretty good about myself. Sorta like how Jay-Z feels when he walks through New York I imagine. Any more of a boost to my confidence and I would've been sprouting lyrics and beatboxing to passerbys.

However, like many other insubstantial theories that we know lack validation yet we still dogmatically adhere to their tenets, the karmic scope of the universe tends to balance these things out. Before long, I realized that I didn't have the time to change out of my costume if I was going to arrive in time for my train. Biting the bullet, I decided to live by the six words, which have yet to steer me in the wrong direction...

"F*ck it! We'll do it live!"

Now whoever complains about Philly/Delaware traffic has not seen the systematic chaos that is inner city Washington DC. Traveling 2 blocks took no less than 10 minutes, no small thanks to the drawn-out reds on the traffic lights. Eventually, time was getting short, and my patience growing thin, I decided to walk the remaining 3 or so blocks to the train station. Imagine this: you're a tourist in our country's capital enjoying the sight of the Capitol building in the background, and from the peripheral sight of your right eye, you see...Mola Ram pulling a suitcase, with a backpack on him. Getting to the train station, I only had two things on my mind. Coffee and getting to my gate. Unfortunately, donning a costume on the day before halloween doesn't exactly help one maintain inconspicuousity. To summarize, here's the list of reactions I get from the mildly amusing to the outright awesome.

A young couple leaving DC from a Immunobiology conference chatted with me in the line about the process in designing the costume and coming up with the idea for it.

In the line to Starbucks, the barista had a little chuckle to herself and thanked me for making her day a little more interesting with the costume.

A group wanted a photo opportunity with me. I ended up with two photos- one of me with the group of people (I think college students), the other one of me re-enacting the Mola Ram heart pulling scene with one of the group members.

An interesting discussion with an elderly woman about movies from the 80s and how marketing for movies has transformed since then.

Lots of other people complimenting me on my appearance

Getting to the gate, I took a set of seats which were empty around me. Noticeably, people were reluctant to sit next to me...though in my mind I try to justify that by thinking people just didn't want to accidentally step or sit on my robe if they sat next to me.Interestingly on the train itself, there was little to no mention of the way I was dressed. Except for the little baby I made smile and the other baby who started crying upon my approach. All in all, I can say that the operation was a success. I amused a lot of people, I wasn't arrested for attempted murder via impromptu heart surgery and I wasn't attacked by any anti-cultist, fake archaeologists. My only gripe is the photo opportunity that I foolishly took. Somewhere out there on the interwebs is a picture of me in a crazy outfit looking like I'm trying to fondle a male college student. So I leave you with this:


As usual- when in doubt: Doing it live always works

The 80s are still alive

Context in a photograph is an important thing to keep in mind

It's worth it to go out of your way to push the envelope a bit and get out of your comfort space
and get others to do so as well. Not only is it fun but you just might make other people happier.


*This involves going to a mall or any public place, and slipping on the floor on purpose. Act like you're having trouble getting up and gauge how many people actually try to help you up. The picking up scenario is where you drop a contact lens and pretend to look around on the floor for it. Gauge how many people try to help you in this situation. More often, people will help look for the contact lens rather than helping you directly from your fall since there's a reward associated with finding the contact lens (the pride in being the first to find the lens).

**Enter a crowded elevator and press all the buttons and close the door before people can leave the elevator. Gauge the responses from that. (Note: It helps if you have one or two plants of your own in the elevator just in case things start getting violent.)

***With a group of people you just recently met, interrupt each part of the conversation with a glib remark or pessimistic statement about the affairs of the world. When discussing anything related to the conversation, always be the first to point out the flaws or cons of whatever the subject is. After several days, ask your friend to bring up to the group what they thought of your personality and that you would be joining them for lunch/dinner later that day. Have your friend gauge the reactions. Based on the SNL sketch- "Debbie Downer" (played by Rachel Dratch) . Most people tend to cringe just a little bit when they hear that you will be joining them later. However, there are a select few who actually realize that you're evoking Debbie Downer and actually laugh and enjoy the experience. Those people are awesome and worth being your friends. Conversely, there are a select few who agree with your statements. Those people are creepy and should not be associated with. The Dallas in the name of this method was because I tried this out for the first time in Dallas.